HYPOCRISY:AN ARBIT CHOICE

I contradict myself. I am large. I contain multitudes -Walt Whitman.

What Mr. Walt Whitman said then, applies to all the mortals, of all the centuries, all the anno dominies and all the before christs. CONTRADICTION is the commonest trait of all the human beings living in this universe.Infact, it is a linkage between all the races this earth has ever witnessed and shall witness in the future.

As the humans are evolving, they are becoming more intelligent & more learned, and this pigeonhole of the evolving intelligentsia is like a prairie where contradiction grows profusely. This abundance of contradictory disposition has bred what we call “HYPOCRISY”.

Hypocrisy is the biggest GIFT that contradiction has given to this mankind. There may be other gifts as well, but this one is above all. The most evil, the most wretched and the most hideous one. Hypocrisy is the epitome of negation. It is super derogatory and cruelest of all the words that describe a mortal. People hate being called a hypocrite, when they actually know the truth, their own reality.

I am a contradictory person myself and my being so is not an arbit choice or something, but is innate. I am acquiring some of its notorious version as I’m growing up and everyone else is too. So why being ashamed of calling yourself a hypocrite when you yourself know that you are one too.It’s like veiling and blindfolding your inner self.I know I am sounding shameless and obviously hypocrisy is not something worth flaunting and crying out to the world that OH!! Look at me. I have some higher standards and I pretend to be like that. But my dears… the point is ..why fool yourselves??? Why not accept it’s existence in your mind and soul. Why deny this very fact?? I may sound like a traitor and an intruder to your space, but you know what it is like….You must have heard people saying-Oh!!! You know what, I hate hypocrites and this world is full of them. On that, all I can is that, either they are saints or good at telling themselves lies. For me it’s like FAKING your “self”.

Hypocrisy is perfectly the most odious character reflected by a human being. It grows with age, grows inside, gradually, initially it is attenuating, and as we become more aware and more worldly and more wise, it grows profusely within and subtly mixes in blood, like oxygen…carbon dioxide maybe and becomes stable and remains there forever..

We humans exhibit duality and multitudinous personality. Humans are multiple in nature, they are all in one and one in all. It’s like I may be feeling sad, happy, disgusted, jealous and concerned at the same time without even realizing that. This multiple nature nurses HYPOCRISY. It makes one a big time preacher. I remember the other day when I was preaching my younger sister not to listen to ROCK justifying its maddening effects in my own words,and when I myself can’t live without it. I despise my overindulgence though, but can’t help it.. that is another issue, but the point is that I feel like a hypocrite when I do this.It's not a treason though but maybe the authority overshadows my concern here. Not just this, I have something more to say. Whenever I have an argument, I always refute others and always think I am right. Everyone does this. I call this hypocrisy, of some sort. I perceive contradiction in my own ways and people may agree or disagree. but then, I am with my interpretations. The point is not existence of hypocrisy but pain is about its non-acceptance. People believe in escaping out and all they say is WE ARE NOT HYPOCRITES without even realizing that their words are the evidennce. Isn’t that convenient ???...Sheer escapism…just twist the meaning, perceive it your ways, reach to a conclusion which is always-I AM NOT A HYPOCRITE, isn’t it???But acceptance is the only escape and people shouldrealise it.They should stop faking and misleading themselves.They should just acknowledge the reality.

When god made humans , he adjusted hypocrisy as a default attribute. So all the people who are reading this , I know, their self is nodding in acceptance but the stubborn outside is ready to lambast me for my lunacy, of calling them a hypocrite..

For all those and others…
I can recall a line from a famous song. It goes like this..
"Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us, f**k it, let's all stand up."

CORDITE

It’s annihilation.

It’s deception.
It’s painful.
It’s wasteful.
It’s numbing.
It’s abrupt.

Sheer infatuation.
Mature attraction.
Physical reinforcement.
A mutual endorsement.

People waste themselves,
their lives like shams.
Shit man!!! It sucks.
Building a pressure inside.
Too much to hold on with.
It hurts at times.
Spitting all the hatred outside.

Forged relations.
Mocking betrayal.
Fatal intrusion.
Shattering resent.
Bitter nothingness.

Amending broken trusts,
life goes on…..like a threatening device.

Who gives it a damn!!
Some cry.
Some crib.
Holding tight the noose.
Tears dry up,
just debris is left.
The pain is inside.
And I give it a shit!!

My tears are precious,
not a filthy profusion,
that I waste them all,
on a cussed f**k like this.

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[PS:This particular poem wasn't written out of a frustration 'coz of any BREAK-UP or something, so please don't get mistaken. It's not a part of my personal experience.]

Bus Stop IIT Gate

Some days are usual and some are unusually usual .That day was like any other normal day, but was a bit unusual in some sorts .It was bitterly cold, windy and strangely pleasant, for normally, non-sunny days are not so pleasant for me. But that particular day was a bit different, in an indifferent way.

The day started normally with the usual huffle-buffle that one has to face in the mornings. The usual getting ready and walking to the bus stop and boarding the bus and fighting for a seat and struggling to survive etc..etc.. But to my surprise, the bus was freakishly empty. Sign of an auspicious day, I thought. I boarded the bus and thanked God. The journey to the Hauz Khas bus depot was amazingly easy and it took me less than the average time it takes to reach there.

I was going to the Hauz Khas bus depot to get my bus pass renewed, which was nearing expiry. The bus dropped me at the depot. I walked in and what I saw was that, the usually crowded bus depot was so deserted that I couldn’t believe if it what was the same depot that I once visited .That was serendipitous. I couldn’t believe what was happening, but I had to believe it anyway. I walked in to the pass office and got my pass made in about 5 minutes, which was again astonishing as the whole affair normally takes longer. So, now my bus pass was there, resting in my bag and I was all puzzled and happy and thanking God, walking to the bus stop, to get back home.

I walked to the terribly overcrowded IIT Gate bus stop, to take my bus back home. The stop was crowded being the peak rush hours. I found a place for myself and stood there waiting. There were no signs of bus even after 5 minutes of waiting and the first thing on my mind was to get back home. It was deeply cold. People at the bus stop, including me, were getting restless. Some were sitting on the railings under the bus stop’s roof. Some were briskly moving here and there, glancing furtively at their watches. Some were vigorously chatting on their cells and some, just standing, giving vague looks. I was the one doing all these things periodically, consciously and unconsciously.

Just then, when all these futile exercises were taking place, I saw a young guy, tall, about 20, coming out of the IIT campus, walking towards the bus stop. He was an average looking guy but was unusually attractive. He sported a baggy baseball jersey ,with a not so baggy cargo. He wore a skullcap and was truly looking like Eminem Marshall. To sum up his looks, he was graceful, well-proportioned and had an athletic stature, and essentially, I couldn’t keep my eyes from roosting on him. I saw him walking towards the bus stop. I gave him a secretive glance and looked away.

 

The traffic was all crawling an the road, as usual, and people were madly blowing horns to clear it off. The air was reeking of obnoxious fuel exhaust and there were people popping their heads out of the car windows. Amidst all this there was a really nice guy standing next to me. I was amazed by the way everything was happening. Everything, so nice and eventful. Queer and unnatural. I smiled, at nothing and returned to the reality. 

We both were standing on the bus stop, he was standing by my side and we didn’t talk. I wanted him to talk. Well, I really wanted him to talk. I was wondering why on this galaxy I ever wanted to talk to him and this never happened before. There was something about him that was responsible for this sudden urge. But I wanted him to start. He stood there, quietly, for sometime, then moved a few steps towards me and rested himself. I stared him and he moved back. But I still wanted to talk. I never made an effort though. After next 15 min , he showed signs of wanting to talk. What a late action time, I thought. But at least he did and that made me feel..feel..feel..well, there's no word for that. But yes, it felt nice. He smiled, cleared his throat and was all set to speak.

I looked at him and just then the bus came and everything was ruined. I was livid. That was outrageous and infuriating!!.…..Oh my god!!!! WHAT A WRONG TIMING…….. I wanted to scream, but I didn’t. Instead, I smiled back at him and was happy that he smiled in repercussion…I boarded the bus and left.