It’s annihilation.
It’s deception.
It’s painful.
It’s wasteful.
It’s numbing.
It’s abrupt.
Sheer infatuation.
Mature attraction.
Physical reinforcement.
A mutual endorsement.
People waste themselves,
their lives like shams.
Shit man!!! It sucks.
Building a pressure inside.
Too much to hold on with.
It hurts at times.
Spitting all the hatred outside.
Forged relations.
Mocking betrayal.
Fatal intrusion.
Shattering resent.
Bitter nothingness.
Amending broken trusts,
life goes on…..like a threatening device.
Who gives it a damn!!
Some cry.
Some crib.
Holding tight the noose.
Tears dry up,
just debris is left.
The pain is inside.
And I give it a shit!!
My tears are precious,
not a filthy profusion,
that I waste them all,
on a cussed f**k like this.
It’s painful.
It’s wasteful.
It’s numbing.
It’s abrupt.
Sheer infatuation.
Mature attraction.
Physical reinforcement.
A mutual endorsement.
People waste themselves,
their lives like shams.
Shit man!!! It sucks.
Building a pressure inside.
Too much to hold on with.
It hurts at times.
Spitting all the hatred outside.
Forged relations.
Mocking betrayal.
Fatal intrusion.
Shattering resent.
Bitter nothingness.
Amending broken trusts,
life goes on…..like a threatening device.
Who gives it a damn!!
Some cry.
Some crib.
Holding tight the noose.
Tears dry up,
just debris is left.
The pain is inside.
And I give it a shit!!
My tears are precious,
not a filthy profusion,
that I waste them all,
on a cussed f**k like this.
-------------------------------------------------------
[PS:This particular poem wasn't written out of a frustration 'coz of any BREAK-UP or something, so please don't get mistaken. It's not a part of my personal experience.]
a cocoon of hard and wet emotions done in a short and sweet way. liked it.
ReplyDeletewww.playcircuit.com
lovely words...you have crafted it beautifully. We can really feel it...nice lines!!
ReplyDelete2 words...
ReplyDeleteouch.
& wow!
though i share none of your inferences in the poem, there was evident honesty in the words(appeared so). It deserves applaud if not agreement. :)
ReplyDeletegood work,
ReplyDeletedont give up, keep writing n exploring..
cheers n al da best
hey!!
ReplyDeleteis this poem just an imagination or it reflects what u feel??
if its a true reflection of yourself i just want to tell u one thing that it feels great to love and be loved.
Emotions are eternal!!
I jus think its fuckin frustration wid somethin either wid ur personal life or wid somethin else... N i guess u might hav put it down in words wid ur freaky rock lineage.....
ReplyDeletewow.... thats really nice one
ReplyDeletecheck me back at
www.sssjvsss.wordpress.com
Anthem for every teenage girl in the world at some point or the other. You should make a song out of it.
ReplyDeleteIt'll sell.
some random thoughts resulting out of dejection and desperation..but doesn't hold any artistic spirit...it fails to touch the reader..the poignancy is conspicuous by its absence..moreover doesn't have the lyrical appeal which is needed for a poem to...yet a decent job done
ReplyDeleteu have used very strong words but it fails to touch me, probably coz its against d very spirit of love...still i lyk d descriptions...an unusual poem indeed! ;)
ReplyDeleteYou just spoke for all the girls who've had total jerks in their lives! You Go Girl!
ReplyDeleteHahahaha !
ReplyDeleteMan, that freaked me out.
Not d poem, i meant d PS.
I remember attaching something of that sort once with a narrative i wrote.
Hey, stop lying in post scripts.
Cheers!
Hi! The fact that the poem was written without any personal experience makes it all the more admirable! I don't want what I'm writing below to dilute my praise for this piece of writing, which was too good in PARTS. It's unfortunate that if an overall excellent work has blemishes, and I hope you don't mind as I'd like to help you remove them. There's some margin to use words less for the effect and more for what they mean. Well, this is just my personal experience (about using words more precisely), so I moved from verse to prose as the latter did not entail using words just for the effect. You might even see the trend (even though there are just three of them!) in the poems I'd written in the sequence: "A desert-river in a sinister spring", "Time Table" and "One moment of clarity", which have become simpler in that order but more defined, and then I entirely stopped writing poetry all together! But, I'd also concede one more thing--poetry requires much greater inspiration than prose.
ReplyDeleteAgain, I hope you don't feel hurt by what I've said here. Just that BECAUSE I felt you've great potential, I'd be happy to see you grow as a writer (as well as a poet).
But becoming more precise and analytical has a downside, too--you'll be appreciated by fewer people. But when you'd be that, praise would be more likely genuine. Have you felt that many times your work has been praised without being really understood?
TC.